When I started my job I hit off with B straight away. We work in a pretty social environment, where after- and outside of work socialising is encouraged, so it was only natural that we became friends. About a year after working together, he encouraged us and his wife, S, and I became friends. I spent time with them and their kids, went out partying with them and things were great.
In the background, all along, B and I shared a connection over our mutual interest in BDSM and kink. There was the odd fooling around while drunk, but essentially B and I became like brother and sister. That was until S became pregnant with their third child. B started pulling away and even though we see each other at work, our friendship drifted onto the back burner.
Recently they have been having issues in their marriage – he wants to explore sexually, and with other people, and she is feeling pregnant, emotional and insecure so there have been arguments and tears and silent treatment. B and I started talking about it (we share some kinks, and sometimes you need to talk to someone who “gets” it) and the shit hit the fan. She knew we were talking about their sex life and completely ignored me for a week (refusing to even message and thank me for their daughter’s birthday present – B thanked me and when I asked if S liked it, he admitted to that me she was upset with me and made him say thanks because she didn’t want to speak to me).
Things came to a head today when she text me because B had obviously told her that she is putting up walls and he can’t talk to her, so that is why he has been talking to me. I said all the things I thought I should (he just needed someone to talk to who would understand, he’s been there for me in the past, I only ever wanted to help and would hate to think I had done the wrong thing, etc, etc). I thought everything was all good and well, so I text B and said that I hoped talking to S was the right thing to do, and that I hoped I didn’t say the wrong thing. We talked about some other stuff (he was out and hadn’t spoken to her) and later, this evening, I text to ask him if they had spoken because I would hate to have said the wrong thing. Well, apparently I did, because I get a text not long after from S saying that they have family staying so haven’t had the chance to talk and that they need some time to themselves so could I please stop texting him.
So here I am, Sunday night, feeling like shit and upset because I was trying to help my friend (B) and I end up being made to feel like I’m interfering and causing problems. I know S is pregnant and emotional, and maybe if she wasn’t things wouldn’t have gone down this way, but I’m now the one who is apologising and feeling like I’ve done something wrong.
Fuck being friends with couples, you only ever get caught in the middle of their shit and end up feeling like you are the one doing something wrong.
[I could really do with a hug, even a virtual one].