Not long after turing 18, my two best friends and I decided to visit a sex shop for the first time. Dark, dingy and the kind of “adult store” cliches are built on, I bought my first vibrator – the “pleasure melon”, complete with slutty farm-girl on the packaging (seriously, who comes up with this stuff?). About the length of your thumb and slightly thicker, it was ridged, bright yellow and attached to a two-speed control box. Despite the fact that after two uses the cable between the vibrator and control unit was so flimsy that the cord had to be held at a certain angle or it wouldn’t work, the “pleasure melon” and I had some good times and a fascination with sex toys was born.
Having had my fair share of experience with sex toys, I thought it time to share some of the things I’ve learnt.
Unfortunately with vibrators, so often it is a case of you get what you pay for. You can buy cheap $20 plastic things on any sex toy website, but they will most often turn out to be noisy, ineffective and if you are sensitive can be made of non-medical grade silicone which causes a very unpleasant reaction. I’ve come to believe that sex toys are an investment and are worth spending the money on.
When it comes to brands, if you are prepared to spend the bucks, Lelo is your best bet. Their toys are well designed (some of their pieces are more like architectural artworks), slick and discrete. They are expensive, I won’t lie, but they are worth every cent and you need to think of it as an investment (in your happiness!). Fun Factory is another great, but pricey, brand. I’ve found their toys to be consistently high quality and do what they say they will! Evolved is another good brand, not as expensive, good quality and fun. Doc Johnson too is widely available and reasonably priced. Some of their toys lean on the tacky side, but they also do some more discrete and classic toys.
Although I’ve owned a couple over the years, I have never understood the hype behind “the rabbit”. I don’t know if I have an abnormally long distance between my vagina and clitoris or what, but I’ve never been able to use one inserted and have the rabbit “ears” effectively stimulate my clitoris. Personally I’ve found that most compact, straight forward, simple vibrators do the job just fine.
One toy I believe every woman NEEDS to own is a set of smart balls. Worn internally, they work by stimulating and over time, strengthening, the vaginal muscles. Despite the bullshit that Fifty Shades of Grey spins (that is a whole ‘nother post) wearing toning balls isn’t particularly stimulating, but with regular use can lead to stronger and more intense orgasms. Designed to improve the strength and tone of the pelvic floor, smart balls can help with bladder weakness and a feeling of being looser as a result of having children or aging.
If you have any, even a minor, interest in ass-play then a decent butt plug is a must! They can be intimidating (especially when they arrive and are twice the size you expected…ahem) but with practice, patience and a good lube, they can be amazing. In the past I have tried anal beads and although they can be pleasurable (especially if they are pulled out mid-orgasm) I personally prefer the more intense stimulation of a plug. At the moment I have a ribbed butt plug which is ideal for beginners and experienced alike as it can be inserted a little or the whole way. Being ribbed allows it to be partially inserted and sit comfortably without moving.
With the wonder that is the internet, it’s now possible to buy toys and have them shipped directly, and discretely, to your door. Hell, you can even by sex toys on Amazon now days!